Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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