did you get engaged???
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
