So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
