Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Randomize
