I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
