it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My life is pants optional.
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