dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
