You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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