It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
