I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
