we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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