Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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