There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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