all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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