Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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