Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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