the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
