Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
