god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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