2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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