turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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