whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
