So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
