how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
