I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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