I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
