I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Jerry, you need to find god
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
