i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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