So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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