new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
