Ambien. No doubt about it.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
