Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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