She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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