when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
