friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
