Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
