Ambien. No doubt about it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
