I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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