summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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