A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
