I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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