So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
