Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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