i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
