Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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