I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
