After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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