I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
