I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
