Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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