You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
