Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
